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War of Change

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War of Change

Post  Mrs. Schuey on Sun Nov 18, 2012 12:41 am

There's a war going on inside of me tonight (don't be afraid)

Wait, it's just about to break, its more than I can take,
Everything's about to change,
I feel it in my veins, its not going away,
Everything's about to change,
It's just about to break, its more than I can take,
Everything's about to change,
I feel it in my veins, its not going away,
Everything's about to change.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDz5SzpA3Xw
*****************************************************

I love this song by Thousand Foot Krutch. I heard it for the first time while at my old job, headphones in, plugging away at my work. I remember sitting there wishing I were at home with my little girl. I remember wishing I had more time with my husband and wishing I had more time to run. I never really listened to the words of the song and when I did, man it spoke to me! I came home and added it to my running playlist. The strikethrough is because I had every intention to be a bounce back runner, get my playlist in order and commit to running every day. As it turns out, the best of intentions don't get the miles in. Balancing going back to work, dealing with my husband working an opposite shift than I and our new, beautiful little baby and working out and running was a lot. There were a lot of different life changes going on all at one time. It was almost like my mind couldn't keep up if that makes sense. I found myself sad because I don't see my husband as much as I would like, I am 73 pounds overweight (I gained 60 while pregnant), we have a beautiful little baby that I was still trying to figure out; why is she crying? How can I make her better? Is she too hot, or cold? Etc...I was working a job that a mouse could do and I felt completely underutilized in my position. I was depressed. I missed having family here - my parents and Martin's parents. Basically I was having a pity party and hid behind my weight. So, I figured that it was put up or shut up. That I could give up running because right now it is uncomfortable or I could just take one day at a time.

I canceled my last blog for one main reason: I had titled it, "The Adventures of the FUPA". While funny, I realized that it was a negative focus on something that I'm trying to change. I don't know if it was a defense mechanism? The more I thought about it, I realized that if I failed I could say, "well I titled my blog The Adventures of the FUPA and so what did you expect? I now I'm overweight from the baby weight and I'll never be good enough to run the way I want" it was an out.

So.....where am I today? Well, upon some deep self evaluation I realized that I was overwhelmed and needed to change. I searched for at home jobs and have been blessed to find one! The company is located in Chicago, at the Hancock Building. I start on Monday and I couldn't be more excited. I have to go into the office for training, but I will be working from home. It's a B2B and I'll be the Client Services Manager for the accounts within a certain territory. I'm really excited about this because I'll be working from home, I'll get to spend more time with my husband and daughter. It pays more and has a lot of room for growth. I couldn't be more excited!

I also started keeping track of my calories through myfitnesspal.com and have been doing so all week. I have lost 1.5 pounds since my initial weigh in last week and I can't wait to see what next week brings! We also bought the Nike FuelBands and I've hit my target fuel points every day that I've had it. We just ordered the Pro-Form Boston Marathon treadmill and it will be here the week after Thanksgiving. Now both Martin and I will be able to get our runs in while Kristina is napping or going to bed for the night.

I also told my running coach that I want to run Boston in 2015, so I have my work cut out for me and I'll need her help to get me there. She's holding me to it. I have to admit, that that goal was just in my head...once I put it out there to her, I realized that I needed to sack up and do what I need to do to get there.

I have run 3 of the last 4 days. I have to admit, it's not easy and I know it won't be and that's ok. It's not easy running the same path I ran last summer in a 7:xx mile in a 12:xx mile and that's as fast as I can go. It's not easy being heavier running and my joints/muscles fight me with every step like that little devil on my shoulder telling me to "just quit and go home", "you aren't what you were before", blah, blah, blah. I just keep telling myself that I've already succeeded by getting dressed and heading out the door and that each time I go out to run will be easier than the last. Granted, I know there will be hard runs, but as long as I get dressed and ready to run, I've already succeeded.

I have a few cool songs on my playlist and this one by Thousand Foot Krutch is one that I hit repeat on quite frequently. I'm really excited about what is ahead of me, with being a mom and wife, my running, my job...there are a lot of great things and I'm Blessed that God has given me these gifts.

I'm not focusing on the negative anymore, it takes too much out of me. So what if I'm a little bigger than I was...I just had a baby 3 1/2 months ago and I remind myself of this on my runs when my mind wants to wander off. I visualize where I want to be and what I want to look like and picture already being there. I picture a thin, strong athletic mom standing at the finish line at the Boston Marathon holding her little girl. I can't wait for that to happen!

So, here's to a better blog - one in which I will do a much better job at maintaining. Kristina is a really great baby and I will have the time to jump on and post updates. Thanks for reading and thanks for the patience with me while I figured things out. The love and encouragement you all have given and continue to give is beyond appreciated. Thank you. I love you
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Re: War of Change

Post  charles.moman on Sun Nov 18, 2012 7:29 am

You go!
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Re: War of Change

Post  dot520 on Sun Nov 18, 2012 7:45 am

Awesome! I've seen your running log on FB and it'll be motivating for me too to get the runs in during the week! Winter can be tough!
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Re: War of Change

Post  Liz R on Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:00 am

Go Lisa Go! The first few months are a huge challenge for just the reasons you described. Hang in there. You will get it figured out.

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Re: War of Change

Post  Julie on Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:40 am

I'm so glad you can work from home! That will be so awesome for you and your family. Keep up the great work. I know it's not fun being overweight but seriously, you have a healthy little girl, and that is such a huge blessing, weight really can't be compared to how awesome that is.
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Re: War of Change

Post  Bob on Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:15 pm

@Julie wrote:I'm so glad you can work from home! That will be so awesome for you and your family. Keep up the great work. I know it's not fun being overweight but seriously, you have a healthy little girl, and that is such a huge blessing, weight really can't be compared to how awesome that is.



Julie said exactly what I was going to say.
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Re: War of Change

Post  Michele "1L" Keane on Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:26 pm

I, too, work from home now and it is pretty awesome as I can set my own hours and run/exercise/shop/whatever whenever I want. So if your goal is Boston, 2015 - I had better stay in shape so I can get there too. Keep up the good work, Lisa - a mind set change places you well on your way.

Also, check out Dr. Oz's website. I caught his show the other day and he had some easier workouts from the P90X guys for people kind of jump starting things along with some diet stuff. My husband is looking at the 10-min workout to kick start him since he would die if he jumped right into P90X. Of course, he is a bit older (at 52), he is "fit" in that he can walk 3-4 miles, but he is 30 lbs overweight from all his travel, etc.
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Re: War of Change

Post  fostever on Sun Nov 18, 2012 3:48 pm

Congrats on the battle you've decided to conquer. You can do it and His grace is sufficient for you. Bless you all and fare ye well!
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Re: War of Change

Post  Mark B on Sun Nov 18, 2012 4:10 pm

With parenthood challenges, schedule problems and unsatisfying work, it's no wonder that your fitness and weight goals kept slipping. Your stress bucket was overflowing. That's the bad news.

The good news is that you are taking positive action to reduce the amount of stress flowing in -- and punching a few holes in the bucket to drain out some of the excess. That's fantastic!

Try to be patient with yourself and allow this process to play out naturally. Small changes can yield big benefits over time.

And as your blog title suggests, it's not a battle - it's a war. It'll take time. There will be setbacks. But you can - and will - prevail.

Good luck out there. I'm looking forward to reading your Boston 2015 race report. Very Happy
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Re: War of Change

Post  Mrs. Schuey on Sun Nov 18, 2012 11:53 pm

Charles, Dot, Liz, Julie, Bobby, Michele, Steve and Mark - Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement, it is exactly what I needed and I appreciate all of you for being so kind. cheers I love you

Michele - I need to check out that site and see about the modified P90X, thank you! We have the whole P90X set, but I don't feel ready to jump into that just yet, so what you described sounds just right to me! I am looking so forward to working from home and being able to set my schedule too. It will be a nice relief!

Mark - I love the analogy of the bucket and punching holes and getting rid of the stress. It's a visual I will use when the going gets tough, thank you! I'll make sure that race report is a good one! Very Happy Thanks for saying that Very Happy

Here I sit on the eve of my new job and I'm pretty excited. Kristina is sleeping and cute as usual and I am ready to go for tomorrow. I have gotten out both yesterday and today for a run and I'm looking very forward to the arrival of our treadmill! It's fitting that Thanksgiving is this week, the same week I start my new job, as I'm very thankful for so many things.

Ok, heading to bed...I will let you all know how things go tomorrow. Thanks again for the encouragement!


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Re: War of Change

Post  Schuey on Mon Nov 19, 2012 5:12 pm

LA I don't even know where to start!!! You are my heart and soul and all the things that I have accomplished over the last 4 years are all because of you!! I can't express in words what you have done for me and my life as an individual! You Lisa Ann are no doubt my soulmate!!

Yes it is a "WAR" baby but it is a 'War" you can win! The only way you can win is that you and only have to WANT to win it!! If running and Boston 15 is something that you want than I want it for you also!! But let it be known that it won't be easy at times! It's going to be hard and it might just bring tears to your eyes! With that being said it will also be one of the sweetest moments in your life as a runner. There is a reason I go back to Boston every year. The reason I go back every year is to put it all on the line to line up with the best of the best and to experience a race that truly is like no other.

So here is to the journey LIsa and here is to you meeting all goals and dreams! No matter how it always plays out remember that Kristina and I are behind you and we will always be proud of you MOM!!!

Let's get it done Lisa Boston 2015!!!!
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Re: War of Change

Post  mountandog on Mon Nov 19, 2012 5:17 pm

@Schuey wrote:LA I don't even know where to start!!! You are my heart and soul and all the things that I have accomplished over the last 4 years are all because of you!! I can't express in words what you have done for me and my life as an individual! You Lisa Ann are no doubt my soulmate!!

Yes it is a "WAR" baby but it is a 'War" you can win! The only way you can win is that you and only have to WANT to win it!! If running and Boston 15 is something that you want than I want it for you also!! But let it be known that it won't be easy at times! It's going to be hard and it might just bring tears to your eyes! With that being said it will also be one of the sweetest moments in your life as a runner. There is a reason I go back to Boston every year. The reason I go back every year is to put it all on the line to line up with the best of the best and to experience a race that truly is like no other.

So here is to the journey LIsa and here is to you meeting all goals and dreams! No matter how it always plays out remember that Kristina and I are behind you and we will always be proud of you MOM!!!

Let's get it done Lisa Boston 2015!!!!

You have a hellofa support staff there!!! Go for it Lisa!
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Re: War of Change

Post  Chris M on Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:18 pm

Boston 2015?! I like it. You know I'll be there with you. It would be awesome to hit the town that night with you having finished your first Boston. Not too early to line up a babysitter and 14 year old Cassidy will watch Kristina while we run that day. Remember that its not some killer workout or single mega mileage week that will make it happen - instead it is the more mundane months of consistent baseline effort. That makes it both harder and easier to do. You have way more than enough running talent to get you there if you stick to the plan your coach outlines and just put in the time. i KNOW you can do it! But please for the love of God have a complete playlist and not just one song for your next marathon!! Ha ha.
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Re: War of Change

Post  Dave-O on Tue Nov 20, 2012 6:09 pm

I usually think motivational pictures are cheesy, but I saw this today and thought of you. Are you "interested" in one day running the Boston Marathon, or "committed" to it?

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Re: War of Change

Post  Schuey on Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:20 am

@Dave-O wrote:I usually think motivational pictures are cheesy, but I saw this today and thought of you. Are you "interested" in one day running the Boston Marathon, or "committed" to it?


Dave i'm with you on that but I like this one also! I think I'm going to print this out to have for myself! Awesome!
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Re: War of Change

Post  dot520 on Sun Dec 02, 2012 7:46 pm

It's time to check in, Lisa! What's been going on training-wise this week?
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Re: War of Change

Post  amyjoann on Mon Dec 03, 2012 11:06 pm

one day at as time you will get there,Very Happy
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Re: War of Change

Post  Peg Coover on Sat Dec 15, 2012 11:41 am

Great new blog! Great attitude! Congrats on the new job!
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