TAPER MADNESS!!!!

DUN DUN DUN!!!

Nick Morris wrote:DUN DUN DUN!!!

                        

OMG!  Why would you say something like that, Nick!!!

Don't you know that I'm already in a frazzle already?  In a frazzle?  Already?!?!?!?

I CAN'T check the weather forecast yet.  Those yahoos at weather.gov couldn't pour piss out of a boot, even with the directions on the heel!  What am I going to do?!?!?!?!??

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!

I think my shoes are too worn to wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I need to get a new pair.  Is that a bad thing??????

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

HaHa looks like someone is having the classic 2007 Lisa meltdown!!! Hahahaha                                                                                          

Schuey wrote:HaHa looks like someone is having the classic 2007 Lisa meltdown!!! Hahahaha                                                                                          

I'm sure I know nothing of which you speak.  And how DARE you speak badly about your lovely wife and MOTHER of your CHILD!!  She's a saint.  A SAINT, I tell you!

ounce wrote:
I'm sure I know nothing of which you speak.  And how DARE you speak badly about your lovely wife and MOTHER of your CHILD!!  She's a saint.  A SAINT, I tell you!

She is only a SAINT now cause she is married to me!         

Don't be shy, you do know of what I speak!!!!  

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:
I'm sure I know nothing of which you speak.  And how DARE you speak badly about your lovely wife and MOTHER of your CHILD!!  She's a saint.  A SAINT, I tell you!

She is only a SAINT now cause she is married to me!         

Don't be shy, you do know of what I speak!!!!  

    

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:
I'm sure I know nothing of which you speak.  And how DARE you speak badly about your lovely wife and MOTHER of your CHILD!!  She's a saint.  A SAINT, I tell you!

She is only a SAINT now cause she is married to me!         

Don't be shy, you do know of what I speak!!!!  

"You, suh, are a cad, a CAD, I say!  I invented the Bitch Slap and will bitch slap you into next week, if you keep this up, boy."

Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Dammit all to hell but WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR!!!!!!!  I wore out the one pair of shorts during training and I can't find that style in a cute color with the Harley logo on the fanny.  Or maybe I've already packed it?

Y'all will be so proud of me.  I've packed 3 bags for race day, whenever the hell it is.  One bag is for if it's below 30 degrees, one is for between 40-50 degrees, and the other one is for summertime temps because you just never know what Texas weather is going to be from one moment to the next.

I went ahead and bought that Fuel Belt with the 8 - 8 ounce bottles, plus the two pouches for the different jello shots I'll need during the Expo.  I just hope I don't lose any of the bottles, when I foot the bar (or is it 'toe the line') on the 18th.

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Dammit all to hell but WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR!!!!!!!  I wore out the one pair of shorts during training and I can't find that style in a cute color with the Harley logo on the fanny.  Or maybe I've already packed it?

Y'all will be so proud of me.  I've packed 3 bags for race day, whenever the hell it is.  One bag is for if it's below 30 degrees, one is for between 40-50 degrees, and the other one is for summertime temps because you just never know what Texas weather is going to be from one moment to the next.

I went ahead and bought that Fuel Belt with the 8 - 8 ounce bottles, plus the two pouches for the different jello shots I'll need during the Expo.  I just hope I don't lose any of the bottles, when I foot the bar (or is it 'toe the line') on the 18th.

CLASSIC!!!

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Hence the reason I only have a 7 to 10 day Peak (Taper). With the performance you are already putting in I say you should be up for an EPSY Award for 2014!

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Hence the reason I only have a 7 to 10 day Peak (Taper). With the performance you are already putting in I say you should be up for an EPSY Award for 2014!

How about an Oscar?

oz, don't get too excited, the race could be canceled...

btw, how is joel, is he running as well?

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Hence the reason I only have a 7 to 10 day Peak (Taper). With the performance you are already putting in I say you should be up for an EPSY Award for 2014!

Nick Morris wrote:

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Hence the reason I only have a 7 to 10 day Peak (Taper). With the performance you are already putting in I say you should be up for an EPSY Award for 2014!

How about an Oscar?

Oh, fine, fine, fine!  Thanks for allllllll of the support.  Do you think this is some sort of joke?  Doesn't it concern y'all that there are some umpteen million ways to taper????  No WONDER it's called TAPER MADNESS!!!!!  

Who could get through this alone!

And MISTER Schuey, it's ESPY Award, not 'Epsy'.  Epsy sounds like some award for Pepto-Bismol or Bean-O.  And by the way, it's not a mystery why you didn't name your blog "No Longer a Fool"   

Jerry wrote:oz, don't get too excited, the race could be canceled...

Cancel?  The race could be CANCELLED?  No, no, no, no, no.  They wouldn't DARE do that to me.  I've trained 5 weeks for this race.  I'm dog tired.  My eyes are tired from reading Couch2Marathon in 10 weeks and executing it twice as fast! 
At least, I'll get a refund.   

Jerry wrote:btw, how is joel, is he running as well?

I haven't talked to Joel, but he is registered for the full.  By the way, thanks for bringing Joel up.  He's supposed to find someone to pace me.  Whatever the hell pacing does.  Why would I want to lead someone through a race, when I'm the one that needs the help!

How can you get refund, oz?

Also, I know a woman who raced a USATF regional class time, which I qualify too, got refund of Houston marathon registration fee. Must be a local running club thing?

ounce wrote:I was told in my blog by this board's latest, lazy American that since I'm in my tapering period for Houston on the 19th, I need to resurrect this thread.

Here goes.

ounce wrote:

Nick Morris wrote:DUN DUN DUN!!!

                        

OMG!  Why would you say something like that, Nick!!!

Don't you know that I'm already in a frazzle already?  In a frazzle?  Already?!?!?!?

I CAN'T check the weather forecast yet.  Those yahoos at weather.gov couldn't pour piss out of a boot, even with the directions on the heel!  What am I going to do?!?!?!?!??

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!

I think my shoes are too worn to wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I need to get a new pair.  Is that a bad thing??????

ounce wrote:

Schuey wrote:HaHa looks like someone is having the classic 2007 Lisa meltdown!!! Hahahaha                                                                                          

I'm sure I know nothing of which you speak.  And how DARE you speak badly about your lovely wife and MOTHER of your CHILD!!  She's a saint.  A SAINT, I tell you!

ounce wrote:

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:
I'm sure I know nothing of which you speak.  And how DARE you speak badly about your lovely wife and MOTHER of your CHILD!!  She's a saint.  A SAINT, I tell you!

She is only a SAINT now cause she is married to me!         

Don't be shy, you do know of what I speak!!!!  

"You, suh, are a cad, a CAD, I say!  I invented the Bitch Slap and will bitch slap you into next week, if you keep this up, boy."

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Dammit all to hell but WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR!!!!!!!  I wore out the one pair of shorts during training and I can't find that style in a cute color with the Harley logo on the fanny.  Or maybe I've already packed it?

Y'all will be so proud of me.  I've packed 3 bags for race day, whenever the hell it is.  One bag is for if it's below 30 degrees, one is for between 40-50 degrees, and the other one is for summertime temps because you just never know what Texas weather is going to be from one moment to the next.

I went ahead and bought that Fuel Belt with the 8 - 8 ounce bottles, plus the two pouches for the different jello shots I'll need during the Expo.  I just hope I don't lose any of the bottles, when I foot the bar (or is it 'toe the line') on the 18th.

ounce wrote:

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Hence the reason I only have a 7 to 10 day Peak (Taper). With the performance you are already putting in I say you should be up for an EPSY Award for 2014!

Nick Morris wrote:

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Hence the reason I only have a 7 to 10 day Peak (Taper). With the performance you are already putting in I say you should be up for an EPSY Award for 2014!

How about an Oscar?

Oh, fine, fine, fine!  Thanks for allllllll of the support.  Do you think this is some sort of joke?  Doesn't it concern y'all that there are some umpteen million ways to taper????  No WONDER it's called TAPER MADNESS!!!!!  

Who could get through this alone!

And MISTER Schuey, it's ESPY Award, not 'Epsy'.  Epsy sounds like some award for Pepto-Bismol or Bean-O.  And by the way, it's not a mystery why you didn't name your blog "No Longer a Fool"   

Jerry wrote:oz, don't get too excited, the race could be canceled...

Cancel?  The race could be CANCELLED?  No, no, no, no, no.  They wouldn't DARE do that to me.  I've trained 5 weeks for this race.  I'm dog tired.  My eyes are tired from reading Couch2Marathon in 10 weeks and executing it twice as fast! 
At least, I'll get a refund.   

Jerry wrote:btw, how is joel, is he running as well?

I haven't talked to Joel, but he is registered for the full.  By the way, thanks for bringing Joel up.  He's supposed to find someone to pace me.  Whatever the hell pacing does.  Why would I want to lead someone through a race, when I'm the one that needs the help!

I must say, that even by our fairly generous standards, this is a surprisingly rapid descent.

Good job, Ounce! Just don't burn all your energy up before the race. It's been known to dissolve the marrow from your bones. (Or did I get that wrong? Oh well, no matter. I'm sure you wont give it. a. second. thought.)

Jerry wrote:How can you get refund, oz?

Also, I know a woman who raced a USATF regional class time, which I qualify too, got refund of Houston marathon registration fee. Must be a local running club thing?

I imagine I will just have to give them my bib and they'll give me a check, right then and there.  After all, the race was never started, so they have to give me my money back.  I DID use a credit card after all and there ARE federal laws regarding reimbursement for charges greater than $50, right?

That's how I'd get it back.  I imagine I could score some of that Gatorade powder and a box or two of bananas, just so they wouldn't have to fiddle with storing it for next year.
 

Mark B wrote:

ounce wrote:I was told in my blog by this board's latest, lazy American that since I'm in my tapering period for Houston on the 19th, I need to resurrect this thread.

Here goes.

ounce wrote:

Nick Morris wrote:DUN DUN DUN!!!

                        

OMG!  Why would you say something like that, Nick!!!

Don't you know that I'm already in a frazzle already?  In a frazzle?  Already?!?!?!?

I CAN'T check the weather forecast yet.  Those yahoos at weather.gov couldn't pour piss out of a boot, even with the directions on the heel!  What am I going to do?!?!?!?!??

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!

I think my shoes are too worn to wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I need to get a new pair.  Is that a bad thing??????

ounce wrote:

Schuey wrote:HaHa looks like someone is having the classic 2007 Lisa meltdown!!! Hahahaha                                                                                          

I'm sure I know nothing of which you speak.  And how DARE you speak badly about your lovely wife and MOTHER of your CHILD!!  She's a saint.  A SAINT, I tell you!

ounce wrote:

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:
I'm sure I know nothing of which you speak.  And how DARE you speak badly about your lovely wife and MOTHER of your CHILD!!  She's a saint.  A SAINT, I tell you!

She is only a SAINT now cause she is married to me!         

Don't be shy, you do know of what I speak!!!!  

"You, suh, are a cad, a CAD, I say!  I invented the Bitch Slap and will bitch slap you into next week, if you keep this up, boy."

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Dammit all to hell but WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR!!!!!!!  I wore out the one pair of shorts during training and I can't find that style in a cute color with the Harley logo on the fanny.  Or maybe I've already packed it?

Y'all will be so proud of me.  I've packed 3 bags for race day, whenever the hell it is.  One bag is for if it's below 30 degrees, one is for between 40-50 degrees, and the other one is for summertime temps because you just never know what Texas weather is going to be from one moment to the next.

I went ahead and bought that Fuel Belt with the 8 - 8 ounce bottles, plus the two pouches for the different jello shots I'll need during the Expo.  I just hope I don't lose any of the bottles, when I foot the bar (or is it 'toe the line') on the 18th.

ounce wrote:

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Hence the reason I only have a 7 to 10 day Peak (Taper). With the performance you are already putting in I say you should be up for an EPSY Award for 2014!

Nick Morris wrote:

Schuey wrote:

ounce wrote:Oh, my, I do feel like the vapors are coming on and I'm not even out of week 1 of tapering.

I feel like I should go out and run another 20 mile long run because I'm sure that I'm going to lose all this fitness waiting for this marathon.  Did I say that it's on the 19th?  Or is it the 20th? 

Hence the reason I only have a 7 to 10 day Peak (Taper). With the performance you are already putting in I say you should be up for an EPSY Award for 2014!

How about an Oscar?

Oh, fine, fine, fine!  Thanks for allllllll of the support.  Do you think this is some sort of joke?  Doesn't it concern y'all that there are some umpteen million ways to taper????  No WONDER it's called TAPER MADNESS!!!!!  

Who could get through this alone!

And MISTER Schuey, it's ESPY Award, not 'Epsy'.  Epsy sounds like some award for Pepto-Bismol or Bean-O.  And by the way, it's not a mystery why you didn't name your blog "No Longer a Fool"   

Jerry wrote:oz, don't get too excited, the race could be canceled...

Cancel?  The race could be CANCELLED?  No, no, no, no, no.  They wouldn't DARE do that to me.  I've trained 5 weeks for this race.  I'm dog tired.  My eyes are tired from reading Couch2Marathon in 10 weeks and executing it twice as fast! 
At least, I'll get a refund.   

Jerry wrote:btw, how is joel, is he running as well?

I haven't talked to Joel, but he is registered for the full.  By the way, thanks for bringing Joel up.  He's supposed to find someone to pace me.  Whatever the hell pacing does.  Why would I want to lead someone through a race, when I'm the one that needs the help!

I must say, that even by our fairly generous standards, this is a surprisingly rapid descent.

Good job, Ounce! Just don't burn all your energy up before the race. It's been known to dissolve the marrow from your bones. (Or did I get that wrong? Oh well, no matter. I'm sure you wont give it. a. second. thought.)

Well, it IS my first marathon, after all.  You just can't imagine how difficult it is to compress a 10 week schedule in to 5 weeks and starting it on the week of Christmas, to boot!  Lordy, Lordy.

The book said the long run and the taper is the most important thing.  So, I ran 42 workouts (7 weeks * 6 days) in 14 days.  THAT was a booger.  I learned so much.  I learned that Ding Dongs, while tasty, just didn't agree with my constitution. 

And why is it that the marathon folks don't have porta-potties every 2 miles for the people that are TRAINING for their marathon????  There oughta be a LAW to have porta-potties available YEAR ROUND.  Luckily, I was able to fashion a hook on my 8 bottle, 8 ounce Fuel Belt so I could hang a roll of toilet paper off the belt, right next to the Michelob Ultra Tall Boy and my toothbrush.

That's why I don't think I'll suffer any substantive bone marrow loss.  Besides, I take the supplement Boner for just that reason.  It was on QVC.  I just love that channel.

And, Mark, I noticed on your avatar a pink something with a blue "50" on it.  That looks like a rock.  Is that a rock?  Was that a birthday present or something?

ounce wrote:Mark, I noticed on your avatar a pink something with a blue "50" on it.  That looks like a rock.  Is that a rock?  Was that a birthday present or something?

Kidney stone. Dang, getting old sucks. Or so I hear.

Mark B wrote:

ounce wrote:Mark, I noticed on your avatar a pink something with a blue "50" on it.  That looks like a rock.  Is that a rock?  Was that a birthday present or something?

Kidney stone. Dang, getting old sucks. Or so I hear.

So, is that your 50th stone or your first one for your 50th year or did you have to taper for that?

ounce wrote:

Mark B wrote:

ounce wrote:Mark, I noticed on your avatar a pink something with a blue "50" on it.  That looks like a rock.  Is that a rock?  Was that a birthday present or something?

Kidney stone. Dang, getting old sucks. Or so I hear.

So, is that your 50th stone or your first one for your 50th year or did you have to taper for that?

Believe me, I wish it tapered.

Just in case somebody isn't in on the joke, it's actually a rock/trophy my loving wife made for me in honor of running the Mount Hood 50 last year. It was somewhat more uncomfortable than passing a kidney stone.

So, I went to the running store today to get me a new pair of shoes for the marathon, since it's taper time and all.  instead of a pair of shoes, I bought me a pair of Vibrams for the marathon.  They felt great in the store and the running I did on the freshly swept sidewalk felt a little weird, but didn't hurt at all!

They don't look like they'll last very long, so I'm going to keep them in the box until the marathon.  Is there any problem with that?

ounce wrote:So, I went to the running store today to get me a new pair of shoes for the marathon, since it's taper time and all.  instead of a pair of shoes, I bought me a pair of Vibrams for the marathon.  They felt great in the store and the running I did on the freshly swept sidewalk felt a little weird, but didn't hurt at all!

They don't look like they'll last very long, so I'm going to keep them in the box until the marathon.  Is there any problem with that?

Hm. Methinks somebody *might* be having a Julio moment here...

I don't remember Julio.  You'll have to help me out, here.  As far as the Vibrams, I wonder if I should try to run without the Vibrams and just run barefoot.